Not Alone
by equusferus
Summary: Shikamaru must venture into Otogakure alone. His mission goes terribly wrong, and he returns to Konoha severely wounded. Ino hopes she got to him in time. While she sits and waits for him to wake, she sings him a song and unknowingly lays her feelings bare to the shadow nin. Was Shikamaru listening? Inspired by Les Miserable's "On My Own," ShikaIno. Collection of short stories.
1. The Darkness

This is my first story, and after seeing Les Miserables with a few friends last night, this idea came to mind. I hope you like it! Comment and review!  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

* * *

There was no noise to be heard.

To the trained ear however, a slight stirring might have come to one's attention. A whisper of the trees here, a quiet rustle of grass there. But before one could register that someone had passed through, he was already beyond detection.

The shadow man leaped from branch to branch, feeling the solid presence of bark under his sandals for fleeting moments before momentum carried him away to meet the next limb. A stony expression was etched on his face, seemingly permanent (for he always wore it), and black spiked hair flew from its binding at the top of his head.

He traveled alone. Nothing more than his shadow trailed him.

The scroll with his instructions burned in his pocket. _Travel to Otogakure_, it said. _Find Orochimaru's new lair. Calculate the coordinates, and report back immediately. We trust this mission to you, and to you only. We cannot spare another to accompany you. Go your way in safety and in silence._ He winced at the unspoken message. Should he not return, no one would come to help him.

_Stop your worrying_, he scolded himself. _If they thought you could do it alone, then there is no reason that you shouldn't be successful._ In his heart, though, a sinking feeling sat curled and comfortable in his chest, refusing to be dispelled. Traveling into enemy territory alone almost never boded well, even for experienced shinobi.

_I can do it_, he thought to himself, even though slight chills suddenly crept up his arms. He was no longer in the protection of friendly lands. The shadow man simply steeled himself against growing apprehension and continued onwards, into the jaws of the unknown.

A tree moaned at his sudden weight as he landed on its branch, but the woody protest echoed into the forest, for he was already gone.

* * *

Rain was falling, its gentle whispers brushing against his skin. _Not quite as good as clouds,_ he thought. _But its just as peaceful._ He smiled at its soft caress; it reminded him of her.

Numb. He couldn't feel anything. Not even the rain. _How strange,_ he breathed to himself, _I thought death was supposed to be painful. Wasn't there supposed to be pain?_

The kunai in his chest blurred in and out of focus. _Don't take it out_, he heard her say, _you'll bleed to death before I can reach you._

"Ino…" He whispered. "Where are you? I cannot see you…" He blinked away the mist, trying to bring the trees into focus from where he lay. _Was she here?_ No, it could not be. No one was going to come to save him from his doom. His mind was playing tricks on him. _How cruel…_

A hooded figure stepped from the shadows, grey hair curling almost humorously from underneath the cloak. Someone was laughing.

"Such a pity…" The figure said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "How was I able to bring you so low?" The laughter built again until he was roaring to the sky with mirth.

"You don't know how good this feels." He said as he stepped forward. "To bring one such as yourself down into the dirt. You Konoha ninja," he spit, "disgust me." The shadow man did not say a word.

_I can't move…I can't make seals…_He thought helplessly. _How can I hope to get out? Think, think…_Ideas slipped from his mind like water through sand; he couldn't hold anything in his mind! _Blood…_he thought. _I've lost too much, I can't think straight…_

The cloaked man towered over him, sneering. "Scum," he hissed, and delivered a vicious blow to the shadow man's side. Oh, the colors! Glorious neons flashed before his eyes, and his ears were ringing. Wait, was that someone screaming? Was that him?

He couldn't tell anymore.

"Are you ready to die?" The cloaked man laughed. "_Shikamaru._ What a pitiful name."

He saw Kabuto take aim at his head, bringing his boot along a path that would connect with his skull. Primitive, painful…how long would he lay in the cold before death's embrace enveloped him? Would it hurt? Shikamaru turned his head to the sky, smiling up at his clouds. What did it matter? It would end soon enough.

As the blow landed, one bright lance of pain stabbed through his body, then everything faded to black. The moment before he lost who he was, he heard a scream. A scream full of anguish, of heartbreak, of terror.

A cry that was meant solely for him.

* * *

Well, how was that? This first bit is the prologue to the next part, which I'll be posting very soon. Stay with me on this! :)

R&R por favor!


	2. My Light

Second part! Read, enjoy, review. 'Tis all I ask :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Shikamaru, Ino, or the Naruto universe.

* * *

He was moving.

The bite of the wind on his face was nearly impossible to miss. It stung his cheeks. Was it still raining?

His head! It pounded like someone had struck it with a hammer and broke his skull into a thousand pieces. The constant rocking did not help. _Wait, rocking? Why did he feel like he was upon a sea?_

He became suddenly aware of a solid presence holding his body. He could feel the breath coming and going from the person's chest, feel the heart pounding against his. Who was it? He tried to open his eyes, but found that they weighed a hundred pounds. _Blast…_he thought.

_Ino, _he thought painfully. _I am sorry... I don't think I'll be coming home to you. I never told you-_

His carrier landed upon the ground, and the sudden impact jarred his fragile existence into darkness once more.

* * *

Visiting someone in the hospital at midnight was generally frowned upon in the village of Konoha. Those who were wounded deserved their rest. After all, the life of a shinobi was one of hardship, and rest was scarce.

Ino, however, couldn't seem to keep herself away. She couldn't stop thinking of him. Was he still alive? Was he awake? Her mind buzzed incessantly with questions.

Unless she was with him.

Once she could sit by him, her mind ceased its frantic thoughts and lay still. She could breathe.

As of late, however, standing vigil with her partner proved to create more worries than ever. He had not woken since she carried him home from the depths of Otogakure. Images flashed before her eyes. _The kunai…the blood. It was everywhere. His face…bruised and broken, splattered with gore. He was so close to dying…_

She shook her head, and the images dissipated like mist. _He'll be okay,_ she reassured herself. _What's past is past._

If only he would wake…then her fears would be soothed and she could rid herself of the weight upon her chest. If he woke, it would be a sign that he would be okay.

She sighed and stood, looking out the window. It was raining heavily, though a few rays of moonshine peeked through the clouds now and again. All was quiet down in the streets. Most everyone was surely asleep in their beds.

She walked over to open the window, savoring the cool breath of the damp air on her cheeks. Crossing her arms on the windowsill, she leaned her head outside for a brief moment, letting the kiss of rainwater clear her mind. It did not rain like this very often. How she loved the rain…

After a moment, Ino withdrew from the downpour and closed the window, reducing the patter of raindrops on the roof to mere tappings on the glass. She turned to face him again, her expression softening as she felt the familiar tightening in her chest whenever she looked at him. Sure, in her past she had toyed with men, flitting from one to another. But all along, the quiet, grumpy shadow user had grown on her.

She felt a pang then. He had left so quickly on the mission that she had not had a chance to voice her feelings. Did he, dare she say, love her like she loved him? Or would he just turn her away in favor of his clouds? Either way, she had to tell him. If he told her to leave, she would leave, but while he was alone in his fight against death, she could not abandon him. A gradual feeling of sorrow overcame her as she watched him; he was so peaceful when he was asleep.

As she sat back down in her chair next to his bed, she watched as his forehead wrinkled just the slightest as he frowned in his sleep. Was he dreaming? Remembering? Did he know she was here?

Let him know, she thought sadly. She reached out to take his hand, feeling rough calluses on his palm and fingers. Half of his hand was enveloped in cotton bandages, hiding a vicious slash through the flesh of the outside of his palm. She saw the scars on his hands, his thumbs. The hands of a shinobi. So deft, careful enough to lay delicate traps with the thinnest of wires, and yet strong enough to wield a weapon with deadly precision. Oh, those hands…the things they had been through.

This time…it was all her fault.

Ino felt the hot prick of tears in her eyes, and tonight she could not stop them from flowing down her cheeks. _If only I had run a little harder…_she thought. _Then I could've reached him in time…_

She cried silently, feeling the crystalline drops splash onto her lap. She was not afraid to cry in front of him, for he couldn't see her now. She had to cry to someone though, and he was as good as anyone right now.

"I'm sorry," She whispered. "I'm sorry…I should have been there sooner…" She repeated this over and over to him, clinging to his hand, shaking with the force of her sobs. She was glad he couldn't hear her. What would he think if he saw her crying like a baby? He'd probably just tell her to suck it up in the flat monotone he always used. She could almost hear him. _"Troublesome…"_He would mutter under his breath.

Gradually, her soul was purged with the tears she shed for him. Her ragged breathing quieted, and she bowed her head forward, pressing her forehead gently into his palm.

"I wish you would wake up…" She whispered.

An urge overcame her then as she remembered a song sung within her clan, reserved for engagements and weddings. As she remembered the words, her grief altered the verses slightly until the song was one of heartbreak and melancholy, not of joy and celebration. It fit her mood.

Then, without fully understanding what she was doing, she began to sing, softly, so softly…a song only meant for him.

"On my own…I cannot hope to continue…" Her voice wavered as more tears silently slid down her face. "On my own, I know my way will falter…" She took a steadying breath.  
"On my own…I know the dark will surround me, and all that remains is grief inside my heart…"

She paused, closing her eyes. "And I will be lost…"

"But I know, that when you're here beside me. I am home, safe within your embrace. And I know, that though you may not realize, I'll hold you in my arms until you're safe and sound again…beside me…"

She blinked through more tears and looked up at him and, despite herself, she smiled.

"When I'm with you, I feel like I am flying. When I'm with you, I know I cannot fall. When I'm with you, my world will continue spinning…around again in joyous celebration for our love…"

"It will never end…"

She stopped then, not knowing how to continue. How could she hope to put what she felt for him into words?

She couldn't.

Wiping her eyes, she moved closer to him, brushing her fingertips lightly over his cheekbones, down his nose, over the bruises that were still prominent on his face. Over his eyelids, down to his lips and up his jaw line. Would he have let her do this if he was awake? She didn't think so.

Then she surprised herself, for she leaned over and pressed her lips to his brow, tenderly as she tried to convey her feelings through the one simple touch. Then she thought of one last verse to sing to him.

She bent down next to his ear, so she could whisper it to him. She took a breath, then murmured, "I've always known, my heart doesn't belong to me. I've always known, you've held it from the start. But did you know, you take a piece of me with you? Whenever you leave I fall apart until you return…"

"And I'm brought home…once again…" She leaned in to press her lips to his temple again, finishing her song with the small gesture.

She curled next to his body, laying her head next to the beating of his heart, and closed her eyes, utterly spent. She was glad he wasn't awake through that. It wasn't like her to sing songs to anyone in general, much less a song about love. It wasn't like her at all. They would all make fun of her if someone found out she had just sang to her teammate.

_What's gotten into you, Ino?_ She thought tiredly, feeling the mist of sleep seep into her body. _Singing to him…I must've gone off the deep end for him._

Suddenly, she felt the press of a hand on her back. Immediately, she froze, heart leaping into her throat. Who was touching her? Was it Sakura? Had she finally realized that she had been sneaking up here after hours for the past two weeks to stay with him?

No, Sakura wouldn't rub her back like that, would she? It was…tender, gentle. Sakura would beat her to a pulp.

Then, with a voice as quiet as a breath of rain, she heard someone say her name. She sat up slowly, looking around. Shikamaru's hand fell away from her, and as she turned to study his face, he blinked, so slowly, as if the effort was nearly too much, then looked into her eyes.

"Shika…" She whispered.

"Troublesome…" He rasped, voice weak from disuse. "If you're going to kiss me…do it right…" She was glad it was dark, so he couldn't see the blush that spread like wildfire across her cheeks.

"If you say so, Shika…" Then she closed her eyes with the feeling like she was jumping off a cliff and into the unknown, and leaned forward.

His lips were soft and warm despite the fact that he had been unconscious for such a long while. She could feel his breath brush over her face, and as she slowly, gently captured his lips with hers, she began to cry again. Not for sadness though. No, she was happy. Overjoyed.

She felt his hands come to cradle her face, holding her close, and she did the same, being slow and careful. This was much more than just a kiss. Ino did not know what it meant, but she could feel a hovering warmth around them, something she had never felt while kissing someone else. She parted for a moment to look him in the eyes. They were clear, nothing was clouding his thoughts or his words. He actually wanted to kiss her, wanted her to kiss him. Her heart soared at the thought, and she resumed the gentle caress, conveying all the fear, the sadness, the longing she had felt since he had left her within her embrace. He broke apart to trail soft kisses down her neck to her collarbone.

"Why are you crying?" He whispered as he tasted salt upon his tongue.

"I am happy, Shika…happy." She replied as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She liked this, the slowness, the deliberateness of it all. There was no heat, no desire to be with one another beyond the wish to be held, to know that they were loved.

She felt his breath on her shoulder, and she leaned gently against him, curling her cheek against the curve of his neck so she could feel his warmth. He shifted over slightly to make just enough room in the narrow bed for her to lay next to him, and she crawled in as he draped a blanket over their bodies. He wrapped an arm around her as he turned towards her, breathing in her scent. He was tired, so tired…

"Ino…" He whispered.

"Shika?" He paused, not knowing how to ask for what he wished from her.

"Could you…sing to me again? Your voice is beautiful…" He felt her still beside him, then smile against his skin. She knew, then, that he had listened to her song. He knew how she felt, and was not turning her away. Far from it.

"Of course…" And she began again, singing a song of sorrow, of worry, but one of love, a song that only belonged to them.

He drifted off to sleep hearing her voice, her heart sing about two people, lost in a world of darkness, but of a new day about to dawn.

* * *

Wow! Haha there is a LOT of fluffiness in this one! Well, I hope you enjoy! Ino's song is sung to the tune of "On My Own" from the Les Miserables movie (if you haven't seen it yet...I will forgive your transgression if you see if tomorrow ;) ) Well, I hope you like it! R&R!


	3. My Anchor

Alright! So, since I got a few requests to keep updating, here's something new. This'll be a collection of short stories, some memories from their relationship, some new experiences. I hope you'll enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.

* * *

He could feel a presence near beside him. Warm, radiating content and happiness. His fingers traveled through her hair, reveling in the softness of the golden waves. She smelled like flowers. Jasmine, maybe? It was faint, so faint that he had to press his nose against her skin to smell it.

He could feel the sunlight. How long had it been since he felt the sun? Taking a deep breath, he stretched.

Every part of his body cried out in pain. All the damages done to him made themselves known in a rush of stabbing, stinging agony. His head! It was pounding just as worse as before. And his side! Why were his ribs so sore? Were they broken? _My god…_he thought. _What the hell happened to me?_

He did not open his eyes; the sun would be his enemy now with its stabbing rays of light. He turned his head away and pressed it into her shoulder, burying into the space between her and the mattress where it was still blissfully dark._ Go back to sleep,_ he ordered himself. _You'll feel better when you do._

Shifting so he lay on his uninjured side, he curled into the body beside him and drifted off into oblivion.

* * *

He was numb. That was the only way to describe it. There was no anger, no grief. Just…blankness.

His eyes roved over his room. The bare walls, the plain drapes and bed sheets. The sparse decorations suited him, especially his mood right now. There were no colors, no smells, no sights that could trigger any memories.

Except for the picture.

Sitting on his dresser, the only thing there despite a kunai and a scroll, Asuma smiled at him. He was staring straight through him, with his hand on his younger self's shoulder. Did Asuma know what he was thinking right now? Could he see him?

_How pitiful I must look…_he thought.

Shikamaru turned to flop back down on his bed, his back to his picture. He couldn't face his sensei's displeasure at him sitting on his ass, doing nothing but staring at a picture for the past five days. Asuma would beat him over the head for being so weak, so cowardly.

_But I am…_he thought pitifully. _I can't go anywhere without seeing you around every corner, sensei…I can't…I can't face you like that. Am I going crazy? Please tell me if I'm going crazy…someone tell me! I don't know anymore!_

He curled into a ball, shivering and shaking, eyes clamped shut. But no tears came. Oh, he wished he could just cry. Maybe he'd feel better then. But no matter how much he thought of his teacher's disappointment in his behavior, the disappointment in his thoughts, the disappointment for letting him die, for God's sake!…he couldn't cry.

So he hadn't emerged from his home for five days. He just laid in his bed and watched the shadows consume the room, then be chased away by the light of the dawn, then again to consume the light once again as the sun set. Five times that had happened. There was no sleep. He couldn't even close his eyes without seeing his sensei.

And he couldn't cry.

As the shadows lengthened again, he stared absently at the wall. _Strike me down now, Asuma sensei…I'm a worthless excuse for a shinobi. I've failed you. I let you die. It's my fault!_He suddenly pounded viciously on the bed, ignoring the creaks and groans that came from the bed frame.

"Why did you die?!" He screamed into the open air. "Why didn't you let me take your place?! I would have gladly gone in your stead!" He gulped a lungful of air, his head spinning. "Why…?" He turned his head into his chest, clenching his fists until his nails bit sharply into his palms.

Lunging off the bed, he rushed to the dresser, grasping the picture frame in both of his hands and shaking it wildly. "WHY?!"

Asuma smiled gently at him, cigarette held lazily in between his teeth. He showed no sign of giving him an answer.

Growling, Shikamaru slammed the picture face-down onto the table and began to prowl the length of his room, grasping his head, tearing his hair free from its binding. He was so tense! He wanted to scream, to shout curses into the sky! He wished to do anything but stay in this room!

But Asuma was here…he couldn't leave him…not when he was already gone from his life. Shikamaru clung to the one last thread that held him to his sensei. If he left…Asuma would be irrevocably gone, unquestionably gone, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

He roared and slammed his fists into the wall. _Why don't I feel anything?!_Leaning his forearms on the wall, he screamed again.

Under the cover of his distress, another presence drifted into the room from his window. The normally perceptive shadow man did not notice her until she wrapped her arms around his waist in a gentle embrace, laying her cheek against her back.

He spun around, eyes rolling like a cornered wildcat. When his eyes met hers, he frowned deeply.

"Ino…" He whispered. It was not kind.

"What are you doing?" She murmured as she looked into his face, searching for answers. "Where have you been?"

He growled and pushed her away. "It's none of your business." He hissed. He could see the hurt flash across her cerulean eyes as she brushed a pale lock away from her face, but it disappeared in a crushing wave of despair. Momentarily, his resolve softened. He shouldn't have been so blunt.

Then he remembered that she had snuck into his room and was disturbing his time, and anger flooded his veins, the first emotion he had felt since returning to Konoha.

"Why are you here?" He growled under his breath, backing away from her.

"I was worried," she said, her voice shaking with suppressed emotion. "We haven't seen you out of your room for days."

"Did you ever think that I had done that on purpose?" He said hotly. "That I wanted my time alone to grieve?"

She smiled at him suddenly, though it was broken, like it could waver into a sob at any moment. "I know you haven't been grieving, Shikamaru."

Her words spiked a surge of rage to course through his body. It was not just anger anymore. "Don't act like you know me." He whispered.

"But I do, Shika! I-"

"Don't call me that!" He roared, suddenly bearing down on her, yelling inches away from her face. "You don't know me, Ino! You don't know the pain I've gone through, the guilt, the anger, the NUMBNESS!" He grasped her arms and shook her viciously, just like he had the picture. "You don't know ANYTHING!"

"I was his student too, Shikamaru!" She returned his frenzied yelling with matched pitch and volume. "He was my sensei too! Do you not remember?! Or are you too caught up in yourself to even realize that people besides you cared for him too?!"

"Asuma was my best friend!" He raged. "He was like a second father to me! He was the one that made me get up off my lazy ass and BE something!" He turned his piercing glare away from her for a moment. "Because of him, I am who I am today! Now he is gone. GONE, Ino! Now what the hell am I supposed to do?!"

"You could maybe drop by to see how your team was doing!" She lowered her voice, now laced with accusation. "You could have checked on Kurenai! Did you even know Choji was in the hospital? He ate himself nearly to death from his grief, Shikamaru! Do you even care?!"

He turned his gaze back to her. "I have lost more than you could even imagine…"

She jerked out of his grasp and raked her nails across his cheek, drawing blood. In a moment of stunned shock, Ino punched him in the stomach then knocked him to the floor before he even knew what had happened to him.

"Now listen here, _Nara Shikamaru_." She hissed, towering over him. "We have lost just as much as you. We have lost our sensei. Kurenai has lost her child's father. Konoha as lost a great ninja. You are not the only one who has been suffering!

"And I know that you haven't yet begun to grieve. I see it in your eyes. So while I'm here, I'll help you, you sorry son of a bitch, because I know you need it."

Shikamaru dabbed at his torn face, glaring at her, but suddenly feeling as if tiny cracks were appearing in his resolve. _No, she can't have her way, she can't make me cry,_he thought angrily.

"Try to send me away if you want, but I won't go until you know that you are not alone in this." She knelt down in front of him, holding his gaze. "Would Asuma want you to mourn him like this?"

His breath hitched as he felt the sudden hot prick of tears in his eyes. "Don't treat me like some animal, Ino…" He whispered, suddenly begging.

"I'm not, Shika. I'm treating you as a friend. A friend who's in a lot of pain, a pain that I know and share." Tentatively, she reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. He looked away from her, tucking his chin to his chest. How can she be so strong? _When I know she's lost someone important to her too…?_

"I can't cry, Ino…" He mumbled, his voice choked. "I don't know why, but I..I-I can't. Every time I think I'm going to, it just fades away and I feel numb again. I've felt numb since I came home, and I can't feel anything…"

She inched closer to him. "It's alright, Shika. Maybe you don't know how to grieve yet." She laughed then, even though silent tears were rolling suddenly down her cheeks. "You just have to remember all the happy times, and you have to know that he is safe now, and not in pain."

He nodded, then laughed sharply. "Remember all the times we would go eat barbeque after training? And how many times Asuma would bug Choji about eating too much? Then he would just sit there with a disgusted look on his face like the rest of us?" He laughed again.

"Yeah, I do." She smiled. "And all the times you would beat him in shogi? He never stood a chance." They both laughed, and Shikamaru did not notice the tears that began to run unbidden down his face.

They sat for an eternity, sharing endless memories, laughing, crying. Shikamaru felt the tension melt away, and it was replaced with a deep ache, a longing in his chest, something that hurt more than any wound he had been dealt before.

When there was a lull in their conversation, he whispered to her, "My heart hurts, Ino…"

"That's something that comes with grieving. The pain fades, but it never goes away. That way you always remember those you have lost." Wiping her eyes, she reached up to take the picture from his dresser, from the spot where he had slammed it down earlier. "This picture was always my favorite…" She said softly. "It's so…us."

"Yeah…" He said, and suddenly his voice hitched as a sob caught in his throat. "It really is…" Ino reached out to pull him into an embrace, and suddenly great, heaving cries were torn from his throat. Her shoulder muffled his crying, and as he clung to her, he wept for his sensei for the first time. It was soul-wrenching and painful, and he felt so lost because he couldn't control himself. But Ino anchored him, held him tight, so he let go, allowing himself to be swept over by waves of agonizing grief. And in a way, it felt good. There was no holding back anymore.

When he was spent, half asleep on the floor of his room, Ino picked him up, like a child, and laid him down on his bed as she pulled the covers around him.

"Ino…?" He said her name as a question, exhaustion heavy in his voice. She looked at him. "Thank you…"

A ghost of a smile lifted the corners of her mouth then. "No problem, Shika. I'll stop by in the morning."

But he was already asleep.

* * *

"_Shikamaru!_" She was saying his name and shaking his shoulder. Disoriented, he looked up at her. His head was still pounding, but maybe not as viciously as before.

"Ino? What's wrong?" He captured her hand as she pulled away.

"You're crying. What's wrong? Are you in pain?" She was whispering. Why? Oh, it was dark outside. He reached up to brush his fingers across his face.

"It's nothing, Ino." He said as he hastily dried the tears. "Just…remembering."

"Are you sure you're not hurting, Shikamaru?"

"Not in the way you think I am. But it's nothing I can't handle." He smiled softly. She would understand.

She kissed his palm, reassuring him. "I miss him too, Shika. It seems like it was only yesterday."

"I know. But it's alright. You taught me that."

* * *

So! A new update! I will go off and explore a couple different plot lines in this collection. I'm having fun with this! I hope you like and enjoy! :)


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